When You Can't Handle  

Posted by Madean

I guess I've been fueled by massive amounts of hormones I'd say. Why??. Because this feeling starting to take riot on me, starting to take toll on me and even drives me insane.

People says throughout the years when you can't handle your feelings well, you might ended up in some shrink's office or even worse the mental clinic. I've gone through salads of emotion these days where the dressing is my tears. I have some friends who supports me through thick and thin, but there are also some who just can be sometimes undeniably a complete ass. I've just ask for one thing, support and happiness, but it seems that happiness does not come in fair prices, no wonder The Beatles said Happiness is a warm gun. As I'm slowly exposing to them on who I am in the "real world", Ive started to ask for more. I need more support, that's what makes me think Ive made the biggest mistake in my life by telling just some people. I need more people to know about me even though I know that I'll surely be judge and they would refuse to be friend of mine.

Isn't it just unfair that you just couldn't tell someone you love maybe perhaps your family, just because you're afraid that you might ended up hurting their feelings. So what should I do then?? Run away far from home and hook up with an anonymous on the street or should I just commit suicide, or even better keep this feelings inside and let no one know about this?? I just want to say the truth but I can't because truth sometimes can be hurtful, and I don't want to be hurt and caused agony.

" I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
 Kurt Cobain

Action speaks louder than words. I am a liar, I don't want people to love me for that, but when the truth come out I'm scared they might all leave me. I hold strong to Cobain's word as I hope that one day I'll tell the truth may it be sooner or later, but I sure hope that I can tell someone that I love about this and share the moments together.

When you can't handle your feelings,
You ought to find someone to talk to,
When you can't handle the lies,
You hurts the feeling those close to you,
When you can't handle the truth,
You might ended up being sad,
But when you can't handle how the universe treating you,
That's the final line.

4 comments »

July Madness  

Posted by Madean

Hahaha
eh its not even the end of June I've started talking about July??
hurm..... I'm positively not on drugs haha

* I am sober as hell haha

Mr. K

But just received message from Mr. Kramer that he'll be organizing reunion at his house at Rawang on 4th july(American Independence Day) haaha.
P/S: Er ader sesaper leh tumpangkan??
But ... but, I'll be enrolling on June 26 haha and orientation will be done in a week haha.



The Whole Family. I hope all of you will be there :').



But Badibah (oops) haha told me that orientation will be end on friday and I'll be able to attend them hahaha. So I'll try my best to go. I miss u guys like crazy hahaha.

P/S: dah lama x der klas n x g skolah english gue dah jd berabuk
T_T

1 comments »

June Checklist  

Posted by Madean

Sorry for not updating this blog for almost a month now, really not in the mood for anything this past few weeks.

So here I am again updating my blog.
Haha. So, I'd suppose that June is another hectic month for everyone. Time to prepare for their college, time to say that last goodbye, and time to pleasure yourself for the last time.

So here's what I'm gonna do this whole month(don't know what to say XD):

  • open a bank account
  • taking PTPTN loan (SSPN bla3)
  • clothes and things needed for Uni
  • hang out with frenz for the last time
  • play more and more games ;p
  • work out more
So that's about it I think.

P/S: I'm listening to Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman song "Time To Say Goodbye"

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